Below are the 8 most recent journal entries recorded in dark_amethysts' LiveJournal:

Sunday, March 9th, 2008
3:01 pm	Well well, guess who got a story published. A rewrite of an old short story but the publisher liked it.  Now if some of ya'll would be so kind as to buy a copy from little old me.... http://redrosepublishing.com/bookstore/product_info.php?cPath=22_27&products_id=74 (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 23rd, 2007
11:45 am	I remember when he left... I sent him away.  It was the right thing to do.  I had no right to keep him, he wasn't mine to keep, no matter how long I loved him.  20 years I loved this man, watching him, only rarely touching him, but talking to him so many days an nights, sharing our dreams and laughter.  Desiring his body.  And this was the last... the last time.  And I had to send him home, be the responsible adult and do the right thing and send him home to the family waiting for him, and my soul cried out in agony.  I held the door open and smiled with tears running down my cheeks, and wished him well and joy in his life.  And I watched him walk down that empty hallway.  And waiting until the door closed before I fell to my knees and sobbed like my heart was shattered.  Like a piece of crystal dropped on a hard floor.  An explosion of a million tiny crystalline shards, each as sharp as a razor.  That's what my heart felt like. Current Mood: thoughtful (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, November 28th, 2005
8:38 am	A very special day The deities decided on this day some years ago, to give us a gift. A man who would see the world’s uglier side, yet create beauty to share with us, someone who experienced unhappiness, but would hold out a hand in comfort and guidance. A man who would hold on to the past and remember the importance of those lessons long ago, and let the spirit guide him. And most importantly, a man that I am honored and humbled to call friend.   Happy Birthday Michael. May this year be filled with blessings and joy and light. Current Music: Pride and Passion (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 18th, 2005
5:16 pm	A Climax.... He does, sliding one hand along my leg where it wraps around him, pulling it tighter and pulling me closer than I though we could get, kissing me again. Enough with the chit-chat, I want more. So does he. His lips move from mine, and to my shock, he gently strokes the tip of his tongue across my eyelids. Holy Shit! No one ever did that before, but the skin is so soft, so sensitive, that my body tenses around his. Oh I hope this man has other tricks like this. I yield control now, following his lead, his hands, his mouth. His hand stays on my leg, holding me tight. His other has wandered to my back stroking the skin as he tastes me, kisses me again and again. His body has started to move. So slowly and so subtle, you would not notice unless you watched for long moments. I cannot help it anymore. I move with him. The desire is growing. His excitement feeds me, taking me to a higher level of my own, and I realize mine is doing the same to him. A tiny part of my brain at the back mumbles “this could be explosive” then another part replies “I hope so”. That is the end of all coherent thought. I lap at his neck, licking slowly, nipping at the skin, taking more into my mouth. I bite harder for just a moment, not quite breaking the skin, but wanting too. I have never understood this desire I have. In the heat of passion, I always want to mark my prey. My prey? Where did that come from? But it is what I feel and want to do. I hold as tightly as I dare, waiting for him to yelp or say stop as the others do. “God..!” he whispers, but says nothing more. His stiffens a moment and his breathing stops. When I release him he quickly grabs my hair in his hands and kisses me with a fury. My heart doesn’t know whether to race, or stop. He drops his hands to my arms, shoulders and back again.. Skin on skin inflaming us both. My leg is locked around him so tightly nothing could tear me loose. Movements have become more deliberate now, slow but hard, a promise of things yet to come. And speaking of that…. I don’t know how much higher I can climb now, it seems so close. He fists my hair once again and pulls my head back sharply.. I cannot think now.. he knows what to do to me every step, how to make me whimper so I don’t cry out. He slides his lips along my throat again… kissing his way back down. His body is moving harder, more deliberately, stroking against me. I can’t stop, I won’t stop, not now. “Mine” I hear him say in a growl. Then his teeth lock onto my neck, with all the force I was afraid to use myself. I feel the flesh bruise, then the piercing of the skin by those points.. the sudden sharp flash of pain… And my body explodes into crimson light. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, June 17th, 2005
9:50 am	How far will it go? I place my hands around his thighs and pull him tighter as I move to the edge of the seat. He trails a hand down my spine, fingernails sharp but not marking me, yet, I hope. His tongue darts to my neck, and trace a long slow lone to my jaw as I tilt my head back giving him more. Not ready to yield power, I reach one hand up, and do what I’ve wanted to all night… I tangle my hand in his hair, wrapping as much as I can in my fist, and pull his head back firmly. Now it is my turn. He lets me control his head as I lean in and draw my tongue along him. From the base of his neck, in that sweet hollow, up to the curve of his chin. His skin is smooth and tastes of salt and incense. I continue over his chin towards his lips, just flicking my tongue over the lower edge of them before drawing back. An edge of sanity has returned now that I have that first taste on my tongue.. now I know I will not attack him like a starving tiger. He on the other hands looks down at me with what can only be called hunger. Pulling back a step, he nudges my knees apart and steps forward between them. I keep my feet braced on the legs of the seat, but tighten my legs around his. He places his hands on my shoulders and draws them down my sides. Barely brushing my breasts with his thumbs, he lets his hands trail down to my hips, cupping them as he continues to lick at my neck and jaw. They slide down the snaps in my jeans, and I feel his fingers exploring the exposed flesh. Then up again to the tops of my thighs, where his tightens his grip and holds me firmly. Now he leans towards me again. This time I am kissed. Hot, hungry, and intense. There is no foreplay for this sort of kiss, it is demanding, taking, tasting and stroking. Oh lord I didn’t even know I COULD be kissed like this. That’s it, to hell with control. My hands move up to the back of his neck and pull him tight while I return his kiss just as hungrily. I wrap one leg around his hips, pulling him in tighter, feeling the heat from both of us. Pressing my chest against his, I kiss him as if it is the end of the world, as if I want to devour, and be devoured in turn. Tasting, sliding, feasting. My world has closed down to this single moment, this tiny place removed from the world around us. His teeth are sharp, and I realize my tongue is sliding between points. Are they real? Are they cosmetic? Do I really give a damn? The answer to that last one is “No”. I come up for a breath and he looks at me. He quirks an eyebrow questioningly, and bares his teeth, letting me see. They are not set close on the canines as many movies show, but set further back, making them easier to hide I realize. You could talk with these and with a modicum of caution no one would ever know. He looks at me again. I lean forward to kiss him again, slowly this time, cupping his face in my hands, this time running my tongue behind each one, stroking the length. I draw back enough to meet his eyes and see excitement there. “You’re not afraid” it is a statement rather than a question. “I’m to busy to be afraid. I’ll let you know tomorrow” I quip. “They’re real” His voice is like velvet, a dark velvet “Good” “Most girls are afraid when they realize I’m not pretending, not a child playing dress-up” Now he is challenging, predatory. “I have NEVER been like other girls” and it’s true. My parents despaired of my behavior. Boys didn’t know how to handle a girl with more guts then they had. And girls of course detested me for it. But I was proud of the day a soldier from the Gulf War told me “You have a serious set of balls!”. That’s just who I wanted to be. Built like a woman, but as aggressive as any man, never to be anyone’s victim. “I noticed. I like it” Now there is a hint of smile in his eyes. “Show me” Current Mood: restless (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 15th, 2005
7:04 pm	Let the dance continue..... We move through the song as we learn each others bodies. I know now how he moves, I have tangled my hands in his hair as I push it back off his forehead, damp with sweat but silky and long and thick. I want to wrap it around my hands, and pull his head back in supplication. When I release him, his hands do the same, sliding over my arms and back, and tangling in my hair as I let him pull tight, arching my neck. What is this thrill I have when a man wraps his hands in my hair? That’s why I keep it long.. and the fools think it is for them. Our bodies grow damp with the heat now, sweat sliding over my skin and making his shirt cling tight. His eyes burn into mine, as we both let desire show on our faces and in the motions our bodies have taken. The song end again, but this time we do not dance. With a hand on my spine, he turns me away from the floor. I lead, but he controls me with that touch on my skin. I start to tremble, wondering where he will take me. I had for the bar as if to get a cool drink but he stops me with a hand on my shoulder. “No” he whispers low in my ear. The first word he has spoken, and his voice is pure seduction. Now he leads, and I follow with my hand on his back, claiming possession with a touch. “Mine” this simple contact claims. We slide through the crowd smoothly, twisting and turning deftly between the bodies, and then we are through. I had forgotten this corner. It used to hold yet another island bar. But the bar is abandoned, and only the island with its low hanging light fixtures, now dark, remain. A screen hiding the tables behind, privacy, almost… He takes me to a table in the furthest corner, one where no one is near, as if the dancers forgot this spot existed. Standing aside, he gestures elegantly to the first stool. I slip up on it, expecting him to take the other. He does not. He steps close to me, legs surrounding mine, pinning me in place. He is so close I could press myself to him by leaning forward only the slightest. I feel the strength in his thighs as they grip mine. Oh my, another weakness of mine. Let other women have a tight ass or great biceps, show me powerful thighs and I go weak. He puts his hands on my shoulder, leans close and his hair brushed my skin. Again he whispers in my ear “Now…” That single word and my body shudders.. it is not only my back and arms that are damp after that single word whispered close and urgent. Oh who am I kidding, I’ve been hot for this man since he put his hands on my on the dance floor. I answer his whisper with one of my own “Yes..” (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 14th, 2005
8:15 pm	Continue... Then I feel a presence near me. My eyes open and my head snaps up so see who intruded on my ritual. Not an intruder… nor unwanted. I have seen him before in the darkest corners. Always watching, but never interacting. I thought him cold and arrogant, but that is not what I see now. He is still arrogant, but now his face is different, intrigued? No, predatory.. that’s it. His body is moving, matching mine sway for sway. He steps close and his legs move and almost intertwine with mine. His body is so close but we do not touch yet. His arms move as if to touch my waist, but again he does not. We continue the dance, and my ritual is undisturbed. Instead I find this male energy completes mine, and the drive is suddenly skyrocketing upward. In strange contrast to this, our bodies slow even more. The dance moving to seduction, predatory, two animals circling, each looking for higher ground. A song change again.. this one Depeche Mode, Personal Jesus. Oh I love the slow beat of this song. We mutually move forward, this time touching. His hands are on my waist now, our legs intertwined tightly. I raise my hands again, as if in supplication, but my body does not bend to his, instead I lean away, keeping control in my world. His hands now move up the slick skin of my bare back… oh I’m so glad I wore this top. I lean back slowly, slowly, and feel him tighten his hold. Good. I lay back completely, bending as far as I can, letting him take my weight in his arms. He does not disappoint me but rather moves me side to side as I slowly rise again to face him. His eyes are hot as they look me over, and I smile in victory at having captured the attention of this man who never danced. His hair is long and dark, the type you want to touch. His shirt black and open at the neck, letting you see his pale chest. His jeans are tight and the only color is the double row of silver studs along his belt. Yummy… I decide I want this one. But how far I will go is not decided. He will have to win me over. He shifts suddenly and I am straddling his thigh. I love the muscle I can feel beneath me, and as I feel him pressed against my own leg, I note that he is not terribly unhappy either. THIS is getting serious. But still we continue to dance. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, June 13th, 2005
7:36 pm	The Ballroom has always been a wonderful club. From the highest level you can look down on the dance floor and watch the crowd. You may also settle behind the glass walls to talk quietly. On the next level are two bars and the floor with its flashing lights and great pillars supporting the viewing area. The walls are painted dark and decorated with day-glo posters and dark tinted mirrors. Lights exist only above the floor, plunging corners into semi-private shadows. The music is always loud, pulsing through your body, the floors, even the walls. Goth is what they play now. NIN, Sisters of Mercy, Ministry and more. I am dressed in my favorite dance outfit. Black jeans cut open down the sides, then strapped back across with silver snaps. Skin peeks between the gaps. My boots are short, but with piecing heels raising my height another 3 inches. My top is a loose black halter, leaving the skin of my back open to breathe, and my breasts unbound beneath, yet hidden beneath the fold of fabric, only a long slim line between them. My hair is loose down my back in dark blonde waves, and a single pendant hangs between my breasts, a crescent moon of amber hanging from a silver chain. My lipstick is blood red as I have always worn it, and I am glad once again for my almost unnaturally pale skin. I was made for this dark world, not the one outside in the day. Here is where I come to life. A stroll to the bar for a glass of red wine, wishing my system would still accept something harder, but I want a buzz for this night, my head light and free but not falling down and confused. Tonight I will take whatever the fates decide. I sip my wine while watching the floor, and watching the watchers all around it. Men prowling, or looking out of place. The obvious group of sorority girls who decided to go “slumming” and are now unsure of their decision. Oh how I hope to pass them in the dark hallway and try to scare them with a look. In the darkness I can see only glimpses of white shirts and pale skin and bodies already close. My blood has already started to beat, from the moment I entered and climbed the stairs to the darkness, I could feel the music and wanted to meet it. But I decided to prolong the joy. My wine glass empty, I can wait no longer. I stalk eagerly out to the floor and claim my space in the center. This is mine. My world, my floor, my kingdom. As it has always been since my first steps upon it. The music is dark and driving. Many move quickly, following the faster pitch. I however follow the bass and the words as they are sung, something low and tight in my body lights fire as I spread my feet wide to brace, and begin to move. My body pulses and grinds, my knees bending as I swivel down to the floor and back up again, arms overhead and head back with my eyes closed as I seduce an imaginary lover. I let myself move, spin, sway and grind… let the music tell me how to move. Songs change but still I move on, thrilling in the seductive beat. Sweat begins to dampen my hair and bead my skin as I start to feed off the energy of the others around me. I see them start to follow my lead, slowing and reaching for each other. Still I dance on alone, reveling in my world. Men crowd close, believing I am an open invitation, with a furious look I drive them away, scorning those that come to close. I do not want some panting fat boy or stoned out wanna-be anywhere near me tonight. If they touch me they will pay in pain. (3 Comments |Comment on this)